Y me dije a mi misma, ya está

Ya lo olvidaste.

Pobre ingenua.

And it might be wonderful, it might be magical
It might everything I've waited for, a miracle
But even if I fall in love again with someone new
It could never be the way I loved you

Black And White (ENGLISH)

“Okey, this is enough” my boyfriend broke into my bedroom, and slammed the door. He sat on my bed, in front of me. I looked at the floor. My peripheral view let me saw how his face collapsed in his hands, exasperated. “We need to talk, this is driving me crazy”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” I answered, with my eyes still stick in the wood. I feel how Nick took my chin, making me look him in the eyes. I could only see one feeling: despair.

“Come on, Georgie, talk to me” he begged. Keeping the eye contact was being incredibly difficult for me. Nicholas knew me too well, I was sure he had read in my eyes that something wasn’t right. “I just wanna know what’s going on”

“Nothing” is said, cutting, and I let go his grip. I took my eyes off of him, as they were getting wet. Nick sighted.

“It’s about Miley” it wasn’t and question, but a statement “Ge, honey, how many times do I have to tell you this? There’s nothing between us”

“How can I know for sure?” tears were already on the edge of my eyes. I tried to hold them back, but I knew that it wouldn’t last for long. “You spend more time with her than with me, you compose together, and she’s always around you on the events…” my voice crushed. Nick took my face between his hands.

“Listen to me, please. There’s nothing between Miley and me. They’re just stupid rumours…”

“That she makes biggger” I cut him. He looked down, letting me go, while he expired all the air in his lungs.

“I’ll talk with her, ok?” he said “But you must trust me. You knew how things were gonna be when we started dating. And we talked about it a thousand times” my eyes went down again. At that moment, my shoes lying next to my bed were much more interesting than my boyfriend’s eyes. I heard him snapping his tongue, and I felt obligated to look at him again. “Geo… I’d never cheat on you”

“I just couldn’t stand it… again…” the first tear ran down to my chick, and Nick took it away with his finger.

“When are you gonna see it? I’m not like Nate, Ge, I’d never do that to you… I just couldn’t. You’re too complicate, baby. You should stop thinking” a little giggle escaped from my mouth as I cleaned up the tears in my eyes. I tried to smile, but my lips just could make a weak grimace. My brain was a knot of ideas; everything was so mixed up that I even couldn’t understand it.

First of all: fear of being rejected. I’ve never felt like this before, not even with Nate, and the idea of letting Nick go smashed my heart. And his ‘best friend’, Miley, wasn’t really helpful. When we started dating, we agreed that it would stay between us, and our closest family and friends. I thought it was logical… till Miss Cyrus came into the picture. Her sayings, too obvious, about her relationship with my boyfriend were driving me insane. Nick could tell me a million times that she didn’t have feelings for him, but I knew he was wrong. And I couldn’t ignore the fact that she was a much more beautiful and talented than me. So, what was Nicholas doing with a girl like me, when he could have a girl like her? It wasn’t logical. And that made me feel uncomfortable.

But there was more. Jealousy was easy to handle compared with other things…

“There’s more” I woke up from my mental state, so quickly it made me feel dizzy. Once again, Nick didn’t ask: he affirmed. He knew me better than I knew myself. “Gerogina, we can’t go on this way… at least look at me!” he cried, taking me by my shoulders. Before looking at him, I closed my eyes for a few seconds. “What is it? What is so hard to say that you’re letting it ruin our relationship, just to not say it?” I couldn’t stand staring at him, so I took my eyes, too wet, off of his. “Georgie, please, let’s talk about it, I beg you…”

I closed my eyes, as I let a little sob run out of me.

“I’ve got an offer… from Harvard” I muttered.

“What?” Nick expression changed in a second. His mouth opened a bit, as he shook his head “You asked for it?” I just nodded. “I thought we said you wouldn’t do it…”

“You don’t understand” for the first time, I looked at him straight in the eyes on porpoise. “You could never understand…”

“Explain it to me, cause I really can’t understand you” I could see it: he was furious. “What do you want? To stay away from me? Do you wanna leave me, Georgina?”

“Of course not, Nick!” I cried, desperate. “How could I leave you, if you’re the best thing that’d ever happened to me?”

“But you so wanna spend twelve years locked up in a university, far away from me, seeing each other just two times a year. How do you think that’s gonna work?”

“That’s not what I want!” I nearly shouted “You don’t understand…”

“No, I don’t understand you!” Nick shouted even louder than me, his hands crowing to his hear, holding his head. “I try, I can swear, I try! But it’s just impossible! You don’t want us to be apart, but you’re gonna go away to study an endless career in one of the most complicated universities of the country! What do you pretend? Do you want me to leave the band and go with you? I’ll do it if that’s what you want!”

“No, Nicholas, please!” – I cried – “You can’t do that!”

“And so…?”

“I’ve gotta protect my future, okey? That’s what you wanted to hear?”

“Another discussion we’ve already had!” Nick took a big breath, trying to calm down. “I thought we’ve agreed that your future was with me”

“I won’t live with your money” I claimed.

“Well you can study on distance! I thought that you’ve even found a good course…”

“Yeah, that’s great, but I’ll never find a good job with those studies” I interrupted him.

“That’s what’s all about? Money? You want to win a lot of money? Georgie, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but each one of us has a big bunch of money in the bank…”

“It’s not for the money, Nick! Argh!” I carried my hands to my face, covering it completely. I jumped off the bed, and started to walk the room through.

“There’s something I’m missing” Nick whispered. I sighed loudly, and I got closer to him, with my eyes closed.

“What would happen… what would happen if our relationship won’t last?” I whispered, as quietly as I could. I opened my eyes: Nick was staring at me, horrified. “What would happen if, in some years, or maybe months, we realize we’re not perfect for each other? I’ve gotta have a second option, Nick.”

My boyfriend got up, our bodies separated only for some centimetres. He hold me from my back, and pushed me closer to him, till those centimetres practically disappeared.

“Don’t you feel it?” he said. A half smile appeared in my face. “We’re not wrong, Ge. I’m sure. I have never been so sure about anything in my whole life… I’d give it all for you, can’t you see it?”

“I know, Nick, I feel it too… but, what happens if…?”

“Stop” he cut me. “Stop it, please, stop complicating yourself. For once, try to see things black and white, plain and simple. I love you, you love me… and that’s all. Stop throwing colours in. It only complicates things”

“It’s not that simple…” I murmured, and, without thinking, I put my hands on his chest. As usual, my stomach got full of butterflies, and my heart beat violently.

“It is… you are the complicated one” he whispered in my ear. I could feel a sigh of joke in his voice. I looked at him, and I saw a smile on his face. “But that’s what drives me crazy about you” I smiled, as I looked down. I started to play with the collar around his neck. “What?”

“Nothing” I said, moving my head from side to side. Nick coughed, calling me attention. His eyebrows were up, as if he was asking something. “It’s just… it’s always the same. We have a fight, you say something nice, I fall for it, and that’s it”

“Wouldn’t it be easier if we don’t fight?” he said, kissing my chick sweetly. I closed my eyes, and make a huge effort to get away from him.

“No” I turned my back on him, as I looked out from the window.

“Okey, look” he said, getting closer. “If you want to… just go. If that makes you feel safe… we’ll find the way to handle it”

“How?” I turned round, to find him really close to me. He put a finger on my lips.

“Shh” he shut me. “You’re doing it again. Remember: black and white. Simple. We’ll handle it. It doesn’t matter how… we will. Being together is our destiny… we’ll find our way to make it happen.

The bright in his eyes, God knows why, made me confident: he was right. I couldn’t help but to smile, and kissed his lips softly, as he hold me close to his chest.



I told you I was gonna do it someday. Please tell me if you find any mistakes... you're helping me a lot if you do :)